


Here’s My Heart (don’t break it)

by 7_Magpies



Series: Shyan Song Fics [17]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Getting Together, Implied First Time, M/M, Moving Apart, Not Beta Read, Reunion, Song: Moonlight (Future Islands), Songfic, after like a month apart, they’re business married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:53:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27574774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7_Magpies/pseuds/7_Magpies
Summary: As Watcher grows, Shane gets sent back to Chicago to help start a new office. What he and Ryan don’t realize is what that might lead to.——-This is a song fic based on “Moonlight” by Future Islands. It is a one shot and not related to other works in this series.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Series: Shyan Song Fics [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1857880
Comments: 12
Kudos: 60





	Here’s My Heart (don’t break it)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends, it’s been a minute. This song was requested by a reader (I am so sorry it took so damn long but I FINALLY did it!)
> 
> It is currently 6:30AM and I am posting this on my phone, having written a good bit of it within the last hour (also on my phone), so please be a dear and ignore any typos. I tried to check as best as I could. 
> 
> As ever, all my love to the SBBC.

_“Here’s our chance to make it,_

_Make this into something more.”_   
  


“Are you ready?”

Shane grinned widely at Steven. “Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Do I look okay?”

“You look great, buddy.” He clapped Shane on the shoulder. “You’ve got this.”

“Thanks.” 

He heard music start, and looked up to see Ryan enter the room. As he smiled up at him, Shane felt the memories from years ago flash through his mind all at once. 

~~~~~

_“Here’s my heart, don’t break it._

_It’s all that I ask, nothing more.”_

He didn’t know when he fell for Ryan. Not exactly. He realized that Ryan’s laugh was more noticeable, or he found himself watching Ryan’s smile more. This went on for a while until one day, on set for Unsolved, he looked over at Ryan as he read from a case file and, for whatever reason, everything clicked. 

He ended up having to take five and go to the bathroom for a moment, convincing himself that he was not in love with his best friend-slash-co-host. 

It didn’t work.

From then on he tried to keep his crush on the down low and hoped Ryan didn’t notice. 

Well, that wasn’t completely true. 

He hoped Ryan would simply stay the same forever, never grow apart, never fall in love with someone else, just stay the same and not break his heart. 

It was a tall order for such a short guy, he thought with a humorless smile one day. That day, things changed.

_“Break into your heart._

_Called from wild and far away._

_Can any fool learn to love?”_

Shane walked out of the airport in Chicago with his suitcase packed and took a cab to his new apartment.

Watcher was doing well. Really well. Well enough that they had decided to expand, and get offices in other places. The first one had been Chicago, which Shane himself had pushed for. What he didn’t anticipate, though, was being sent to help get the office up and running. 

It was an obvious decision: they wanted someone to supervise, and Shane was from Chicago. All of Ryan’s family was in LA, and Steven was definitely needed at home base in case anything went sideways there. 

Shane’s parents were thrilled, of course, that he was moving back home. It had taken no small amount of convincing that he wouldn’t move back into their house (and ended with a compromise for dinner once every weekend, which he wasn’t about to turn down—he did miss his mom’s cooking after all).

He didn’t think about how Ryan looked at the airport, waving him goodbye. They hugged before Shane went through the security check. They had never hugged a lot, but this almost made up for that. Ryan had practically buried his face in Shane’s shoulder, squeezing his body with his strong arms. For his part, Shand rested his cheek on Ryan’s hair, feeling the soft strands brush against his face. They held each other for a long time ( _not long enough_ , Shane definitely wasn’t thinking) before Shane had to pull away. 

“See you later,” Shane said, smiling. He knew it didn’t meet his eyes.

“See you big guy,” Ryan replied ( _sadly_ , Shane absolutely didn’t think). “Call me when you land, alright?”

“Of course. Love you, man.” They had said it before, more than once. Shane hoped that the full meaning didn’t come through this time.

It didn’t seem to, because Ryan replied “love you, too” without seeming to think about it.

With that, Shane turned and left. 

\-----

Shane had been in Chicago for a month. He and Ryan texted daily, and called at least once a week. He was at his parents’ every weekend. The new office was doing great—better than they would have dared to hope. For all intents and purposes, life was good.

Except.

Except Ryan wasn’t there.

It was strange that this man he had only known for a few years had become so important to him, so vital. It was scary, if Shane were to be honest with himself. However, he wasn’t in the habit of that. Not when it came to Ryan. And so, he didn’t analyze why he felt the way he did… however it was he actually felt. It was difficult to quantify the emotion, exactly. It didn’t feel like a specific feeling, instead, it was like the absence of one. He could tell that there was something missing, but he wasn’t _quite_ sure what.

So, as he tended to do whenever he felt that way, he called Ryan. They hadn’t talked yet that day. The call went to voicemail, though. Shane tried not o think too much about that. He decided to watch tv instead, and hope it would distract him.

A few episodes that he wasn’t really paying attention to later, his phone rang, Ryan’s smiling face lighting up the screen. Shane picked it up immediately.

“Hey, how are you?”

“I’m good,” Shane answered, feeling some bright happy emotion flood his body at the sound of his friend’s voice. He shook the feeling off, ignoring it. “What’s up?”

“Oh, not much. Hey, just checking, but what’s your apartment number again?”

Shane told him. “Why?”

“Y’know, no reason…” 

There was a knock on his door.

Shane opened it to see Ryan standing there, holding a duffel bag in one hand and his phone to his ear with the other, and grinning his megawatt smile that almost made Shane have to squint as it was directed straight at him. 

“Ryan?”

Ryan hung the phone up and dropped his bag on the floor, pulling Shane into a tight squeeze. Shane returned it, laughing into Ryan’s hair. 

“What are you doing here? You should have said you were coming!”

“It was a surprise!”

Shane pulled back and held Ryan at arm’s length, cataloguing any changes. His hair was a little longer, and he seemed to be trying to grow some stubble again, but for the most part he looked just the same. “It’s good to see you. Come on in.”

\-----

A few hours later, they were sitting on Shane’s couch, catching each other up on the past month. 

“It’s great that the office is doing so well here.”

“I think so, too. It’s awesome to watch it grow,” Shane replied. He hadn’t stopped smiling since Ryan showed up, and his cheeks were starting to hurt, but he couldn’t bring himself to care because _Ryan._

“It’s not the same back home without you, though,” Ryan said softly. His smile had faded, and he wasn’t quite meeting Shane’s eyes. 

Shane had no idea how to reply to that for a moment. “I’ve missed you, too,” he finally settled on. 

“Do you…” he trailed off, seeming to think about what he was going to say before clearing his throat. “Do you think you’ll come back? Sometime soon?”

Of all the things that Ryan might ask, this wasn’t exactly a conversation that Shane was expecting to have.

“I… I don’t know. I’ve not really thought about it. We didn’t set in place a specific benchmark or anything. I just kind of assumed I’d stay here.”

Ryan shook his head. “No, you need to come back at some point. LA is your home.”

“I don’t know, Ry… I mean, I have my life here.”

“Please. Just… Just think about coming back soon?” Shane could almost imagine him adding a “to me” at the end of it, but he made a point not to.

“Did you come all the way out here to ask me to come home?”

“Well… not _just_ for that.”

“What else? Do you want to see the office?”

“I mean, sure, but that wasn’t it either.” He seemed to be growing nervous as he focused on his hands toying with the sleeve of his hoodie. 

Shane was confused now. He furrowed his brow. “What’s up?”

“I just… I’ve got to tell you something I meant to tell you before you left but couldn’t bring myself to.”

“What’s wrong?” 

Ryan took a deep, steadying breath-

-and kissed Shane. 

_“So we just lay in bed all day._

_I couldn’t see by the cloud in my arms.”_

Shane woke the next morning to see Ryan already awake and looking at him. When he saw Shane was awake he smiled. “Good morning.”

“Morning.” Shane stretched his arms and legs, feeling the blankets shifting against his skin as he did. 

He looked back to see Ryan looking over his body and flushed a little bit. “What are you looking at?”

“What do you think?” Ryan reached over and out a hand on Shane’s chest to brace himself as he leaned over and kissed him. 

There were a lot of thoughts running through Shane’s head, most of them too fast for him to really see or focus on. When Ryan broke the kiss, he pulled him forward into his arms. Ryan adjusted quickly, resting his head on Shane’s chest and arranging his form to press alongside Shane’s beneath the covers. Shane wrapped his arms around his body, hyper aware of every inch of skin contact between them. 

“I didn’t expect this,” Ryan murmured against Shane’s skin. 

“Me either.”

They lay in silence for a few moments, the only sounds their own breathing and the rain outside. 

Shane looked down and saw the black cloud of Ryan’s hair covering his face. He slid a hand up and ran it through the strands lightly. 

They didn’t move out of bed for most of the day, cuddling and holding one another close (and a few repeats of the night before). 

_“If I asked you, would you say_

_It’s only rain, nothing more”_

Several days later, Shane jerked awake to a loud noise. 

“Hey, you okay?”

Shane looked to see Ryan’s head on his shoulder. Looking around, he finally remembered where he was. “Yeah, I’m fine. What was that?”

Ryan opened the blind over the window and looked out at the wing of the airplane. “Only rain.” 

Shane hummed and settled back into his seat. Ryan set his head back on his shoulder and took Shane’s hand in his own. “Ready to be back to LA?”

Shane nodded. “Yeah. I miss it. But I’m also just glad to be with you again.”

He could almost feel Ryan Roll his eyes. “You’re such a sap,” he said with his voice all fondness. 

“Only for you,” he replied with a smirk, closing his eyes to fall back to sleep. 

~~~~~

All of these memories flashed through Shane’s mind as Ryan walked down the aisle. When Ryan stopped in front of him, smiling, Shane finally surfaced back at the present. 

The service went smoothly, and the reception was a riot of family and friends, everyone getting along and talking and laughing. 

Shane managed to pull Ryan outside for a moment alone in the quiet after the speeches. “How are you doing?”

Ryan was all smiles. “I’m doing great.”

Shane smiled back down at him, pulling him into a soft kiss. Music started inside, and Shane took Ryan’s hand, leading him in a slow dance outside, alone, under the stars, with the sounds of laughter and music spilling from inside the reception area. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed. I wrote this as an attempt to escape during the week from hell, so please be kind <3
> 
> If you have a request, I’d love to hear it—comment here or send me something on tumblr at in-between-sleep-and-awake


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